8 Dating Tips for Christians

1. Establish for yourself standards. Don't ever compromise them. You may choose to modify them, as a reslut of time in prayer and Bible study, but never in response to pressure from a significant other. This includes time with God, and with godly people, asking for a clear knowledge of what you can and cannot deal with in a romantic partner. An example would be something as mundane as teasing: will your boyfriend's/girlfirend's sense of humor be a sore-spot? If you can't get over it, find someone else.

2. Look for someone whose faith is visible in the Fruit of the Spirit. No one will be perfect, but when the guy/gal occasionally hurts your feelings, as they inevitably will, is he man enough/is she woman enough to grovel in humble apology? Does he/she get around to asking forgiveness in a reasonable amount of time? Further, does he/she do those small kindnesses, give you those compliments, out of the blue? Finally, is he/she like that with most people in the first place? There are other virtues as well. If you don't see at least the beginning of such things, you can be sure that you will be taken for granted.

3. The one most worth having is the one who doesn't need you. Desperate longing is a short step from obsession. If they need something we have (aside from Christ), then they will feel compelled to do things to control that supply. If they see that need as being supplied by God through you, they have no need to control you. This applies to ourselves as well. Romance as God's gift to us is an extension of Christian fellowship. They shouldn't need you, but should want you anyway. They should find your company pleasant, not just enjoy holding you. Have you ever just sat and talked about things?

4. Focus on being, not on finding. Seek the Lord first, and He will take care of the details. Be the godly woman/man He called you to be, and His choice will find you. Turn off the radar. Don't get so wrapped up in romance that it monopolizes your waking hours. Further, any romance that is God's choice for today is subject to recall when it has served His purpose. Keep your eyes on the Giver, not the gift. I'm still friends with some former girlfriends because of this. I've never suffered an emotional break-up since putting this in practice.

5. You can always walk away. Don't become addicted. When it's no longer right, He will give you the strength to follow His will. That says nothing of the possible pain, only that you can deal with it. This is connected to the image of God's promise to generously supply all we could ever have use for. He said that it was already there, waiting for our use. The problem is that we all too often look for it in the wrong place. If you refuse to stand under the umbrella of God's protection, don't complain if you get wet.

6.Date your friends; never date a stranger. You should choose to date someone because you believe it is plausible to marry them. This requires, of course, that you hang out with fellow-believers. Remember the Principle of Propinquity. Your best chance of finding someone worthy is to be often in the company of God's people. Go out with someone you can trust to at least want to follow His will.

7. Missionary dating doesn't work. You can't change someone while you are dating them. Any changes they seem to make at your request are likely to be superficial. Further, you cannot join Jesus with Satan. Anyone not devoted to Jesus is, by default, serving Satan.

8. Cultivate a confessor. This is a basic principle of Christian living. It's a matter of having someone to whom you are accountable, someone who has proven capable of accepting you uncritically. If there is no one with whom you can share your deepest, darkest secrets and fears, you already have tremendous spiritual problems. This confessor can help you keep a clear head in the turmoil of dating.